Tuesday, May 11, 2010


There are those that are born into a great family unit and that unit stays close and tight-knit throughout your entire life.  There are those that were born into their ideal family unit.  There are those of us that weren't.  For some reason or another there are people who don't really get the concept of what a true family is.  Family isn't about flesh and blood and dna.  It's about heart.  I will be 31 years old this July.  I met my family 20 years ago.  This isn't to say that I didn't have parents growing up.  I did.  They were abusive and it took me having my daughter to realize that that version of family was not the version that I wanted my daughter to know.  My true family came in the form of my very best friend, Christine and her family. Her mom is my mom(Carol), her brother is my brother(William) and she is my sister.  Biology doesn't have a damn thing to do with family.   Biology didn't matter to those that birthed me.  Family is about those that are there for you through the thick and thin and don't hurt you.  That whole you don't get choose your family line is bullshit.  I chose mine and they chose me right back.  Today my family hurts. 

My brother, William, was shot and killed last night.  We are all hurting. My family is so far away and I wish that I could be there with them.  They are all in my thoughts and my prayers.  A mother should never have to bury their child. To my mom, I love you! Thank you so much for all that you've ever done for me and accepting me into your home and your heart as one of your own.  William, you will be missed greatly.  I know you are in a better place now, I'm just sad that you're journey here on earth had to end so quickly. 

My best friend and sister.  I love you more than you'll ever know.  I still treasure this page you made for me.  It's in my office and I look at it daily and thank God for you  and your family. My family.  20 years.  Wow, we're old.  We're so young in this picture and we're even better friends now than we were back then. 

William Benel, rest in peace and know that you have a bunch of people down here that love you and can't wait to see you again. 

"No one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow". ~Euripides


Veronica said...

I am so so very sorry for your loss Shanna. Violent death is such a horrible thing. You are in my thoughts and prayers as is your family. ((((hugs)))

Philip said...

This may sound odd, but I knew your brother very well. He was a dear brother to me, and I miss him to this day. I just want you to know how much he touched my life, and that to this day I think about him often.

-Phil Prejean

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